Lord of the Cribs

One crib to rule them all
One crib to find them
One crib to bring them all
And in the darkness bind them
In the land of Nursery when babies lie.

This is a story about cribs and other baby things.

Life was good to Benli Miles and the Holmes's. Erksladriel was pregnant with little Princess Ballerina, and Benli and Jagorn had become fast friends, hanging out often and stamping out terrorism one virtual terrorist at a time via XBOX Live. However, unbeknownst to any of them, their good fortune was fated to change.

You see, the crib changed everything.

It was a Friday night like any other. Benli and Jagorn had finished their workout and had returned to the house to perform what seemed to be a simple chore to make Erksladriel's week. Who knew there was an evil so malicious lurking in the depths of a large card board box that had been festering in the basement for a fortnight.

(Cue Sinister Music....Duh duh duh duhhhhnnn!)

Never has there been a crib so nefarious.

At first Jagorn and Benli were stymied by the criptic runes which accompanied this ominous artifact out of it's cardboard tomb.

It are hard too read stuff.

Jagorn soon set about the task of unleashing the power of the crib by opening up all of the little gibblets.

Huuuuuurrrraaaaghhhhhh!!!!!

But, it was no use. The warding magic was too strong and Jagorn did not know the elven word to open it. Benli however had another plan.

"Hold still..." Benli said.
"You have done this before right?" Jagorn inquired.

After reattaching his left ear... and a couple of fingers... The work was well underway.

Good thing there was an Allen wrench to reattach that ear.

Halfway through, the tension grew palpable.

Back to work, but there was treachery in Benli's eyes.

Oh snap!! What did I say??

Benli had the drop on Jagorn and a life and death struggle ensued. After several cunning strikes by Benli were parried, Jeremyagorn was able to regain his weapon.

They waged war with such ferocity the very house shook with every strike.
For hours they fought.
Jagorn began to tire as Benli was fortified by the power of the crib.
His onslaught redoubled as Jagorn finally made his fatal mistake.

At last, Jagorn was left defeated.

The crib stood silent but within the depths of it's evil sentience, it was pleased.

Thanks Benli.