Begin Flashback
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we had to drive separately to school this morning because of timing issues, we were not in sync. So, Erks was driving home behind me and we were sitting at the light. I looked into my side mirror and was admiring her beauty. So, I decided to tell her so. I proceeded to use my unbelievably, world-class, nonverbal super spy skills to send her an encoded message to the effect of, "You... look... great..." She did not get the message. So, I changed tack. I realized I may have used a confusing signal and indicated that I was looking at something good, instead of her looking great. So, upon regrouping, I resent the message, "You... Look... Great..." Still nothing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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End flashback.
At this point I became fearful for my life. How can I feel safe living for all eternity with a woman who I cannot depend on in Super Stealth Situations? We will never defeat the Pinko Nazi Commie Fundamentalist Hezbollah Terrorist Insurgent Chumps if we can’t even conquer a simple compliment. How will she react when in a life and death situation when the stakes cannot get any higher? Oh, we have a lot of kinks to get worked out. This marriage thing, I tell ya, it’ll be the death of me.
Now I'm scared, too! Erika, get with the program! Subtle stealth compliments are eternal marriage 101. That said, Gilmore Girls made reference to Jack Bauer Tuesday night, and now the world has come full circle.
ReplyDeleteHold up--why is Erika getting the blame for this? Maybe YOU need to work on giving the signals, buddy. Practice, practice, practice.
ReplyDeleteI majored in interpersonal communications. I choose this major because it was fun and easy and I never thought that I would ever use this knowledge that I have...but now I can. Please call or email me to set up an appointment to work on your non verbal communication skillz. I am also an expert at group communication and gender communication and I have a feeling that these tools will come in handy as well.
ReplyDeletePS first appointment is on the house. There after I will charge $150 an hour.
ReplyDeleteI am with Andrea on this one. Jeremy this must simply be all your fault.
ReplyDeleteRemember.....Erika will always be right!
And who knows, maybe she was playing hard to get? : )
Your primary mistake, here, has been to post this on a site to which other women have access. Live and Learn.
ReplyDeleteJeremy you are hillarious! Props to you for trying to train a woman to have a man's super sneaky spy skills! Don't give up, we are a different race, but I have found we come around with a little work!
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